Dish 8

Cafeteria duty feels like a Sisyphean torture session today. Nothing anyone asks me makes sense. My anger clouds my judgment, so I have nothing to recommend to anyone. I can see Mrs. Chen’s distress that customers are moving through without purchasing

I give people regular soda instead of diet by mistake. I forget requests for bags of chips and extra sauce. I hand ultra-vegan, super-feminist Whitney a chicken wrap instead of a veggie-hummus wrap. Her outrage only slightly raises my mood. 

"What's wrong with you, chi-yul?" Mrs. Chen says, as I move behind her to get more ketchup packets.

"You're doing everything wrong. Where's your head? You're going to make us lose business!"

I grunt.

"Mrs. Chen, we are their only business. They can't go anywhere. They should just deal with it."

She shakes her head.

“Don’t have that attitude, chi-yul. I don’t take that from my husband and I know I’m not gonna take that from you. This is your job. You don’t like it. I say goodbye. NEXT!”
 “I say NEXT!” She waves her hand.

I frown and put up my plastic wrapped hands in surrender mode, until I realize she’s talking to the students in line. They move over to cash register. I sigh and open up a new box of pretzels. I wish I didn’t have to work here, but that would mean goodbye to my free lunches. Come on, suck it up, Zac. Suck it up. 

The blob of a line shows no familiar amber ponytail or piercing sea-green eyes. Where is she? 

I toss some ketchup packets in a tall senior’s plate of curly fries, when I hear a jingling and distinctive laugh.

“Oh mi gosh. No way! I seriously can’t believe you really work here! Your hat is wicked cute.”

I touch my head instinctively and narrow my eyes. Just the person I wanted to see. NOT. 

Susannah puts her hands one over the other and leans forward on the counter as if she’s at an ice cream shop. She’s wearing an exceedingly low neck shirt with weird silhouette of Scottish dogs and bagpipes stamped all over, along with a grey scarf around the side of her neck. Around her wrists are donut sized rust colored bangles. She better not point at anything.

“This is so weird that you’re taking orders from me, but it’s like a funny weird, you know?”

“What do you want?” I say blankly.

“Excuse me?”

“Food? What do you want?”

“Ohhh,” Susannah rubs her chin, while the students behind her pop their gum and text impatiently.

“Jeez, I am so indecisive. I always have brain farts when I need to make a decision. Since I’m new, can you tell me what’s good here? Get me the best deal, since we’re friends and all, right?” Susannah winks.

I wish the kid on the left of her playing rock paper scissors could jam his fist on the back of her head for an answer.

“Are we?”

“Well I would hope so,” she replies.

“We’ve got pizza, chicken wings, chow mein, salads are decent, avoid the chicken one though.”

“Uh huh-”

“Popcorn chicken, ham and cheese sandwich-” I could read out our menu in my sleep.

“Oo, I’ll have a garden salad and do you still have those chili cheese fries? That’s the special right?”

I look over my shoulder to check the tray.

“If you don’t care about waiting a few minutes.”

Susannah shakes her head, making her side ponytail whip the air.

“If they’re good, then it’s worth it to me!”

That’s what Katie used to say...

I shrug, so Susannah moves over to the side. She watches me intently as I warm up the chili and handle more orders.

“So I’m so psyched for that party tomorrow night at what’s his face. How are they here? My old school was so dead, but I’ve heard some good stuff about Ben Franklin,” she says.

“I wouldn’t know.”

“Oh yeah, you’re not a partier. You’re a lone wolf, that’s right. Adem told me that.”

I roll my eyes and hand a kid a can of lemonade and hamburger.

“You seem to have connected to Adem real fast, haven’t you?”

She grins and fingers her fleur-de-lis ring.

“Well, I don’t know about that. He did invite me to the party and all. That’s pretty lucky of me to score on my first day here.”

Sure, if you like pity points. You’ll just look stupid for being a nobody at an A-crowd’s get together.

“But just in case it was a fluke thing to be nice, I’ve got this.”

Susannah pulls out a small white handkerchief from her bag. She unfolds it and inside is a silver ring and crumpled up rose petals.

“I did a little love spell yesterday,” she whispers, wiggling her eyebrows.

“You did what?”

“Uh, I wanted Cheetos, not Fritos,” a girl with way too much red blush interrupts.

“Hold on,” I say, putting my index finger up. I move over to Savannah.

“You did a love spell? On Adem? With a napkin, ring and flowers?” I hiss.

“And a piece of his hair. It’s supposed to be foolproof. ” 

She points to a curly strand from beneath the petals.

“I told him he had a piece of lint stuck in his hair, then I just pulled one out. He didn’t notice, since he has such thick, lush hair. Clever, huh?”
  
I massage my forehead. Why am I getting worked up about this? It’s not like this magic voodoo crap works. She’s a crazy, deranged person that thinks my rational, level headed best friend will fall for that stuff. I should be concerned for her mental health, not that it would actually make Adem feel attracted to her. There’s no such thing as magic...

“Uh, can I have my Fritos now? I don’t have time for you two to talk when I have to eat my lunch in less than 35 minutes,” Clown Girl interrupts.

I switch her chips out, almost throwing the Fritos bag at her.

“Zac, check the chili! You’re going burn it!” Mrs. Chen says.

I groan and open the chili cooker. I grab a carton of fresh fries, ladle a blob of steaming chili and sprinkle cheddar cheese on top. The aroma is so overwhelming, I almost forget I’m angry.

“Here,” I say, shoving it in front of Susannah.

“And my salad?”

I hand her the box with fork and napkin wrapped in plastic.

“You’re crazy, you know.”

“Am I? Don’t we all have our fantasies?” she say.

“You lied about wanting to go to Adem’s house just to watch soccer. You thought he was hot so you could hook up with him. Real smooth for a newbie.”

Susannah covers her mouth in mock horror.

“Hey now, hey now. Is that how you speak to girls, Zac?”

“To desperate, lying ones, sure.”

“Oh, we’re talking about lying now?” She dips her pinky finger into the chili cheese and licks it off.

“Just wanted to make sure you didn’t sneak anything funny in it, since I know you wouldn’t be able to answer truthfully.” 

I open my mouth to reply, when a short guy with an emerging mustache knocks on the countertop.

“Can I have a slice of pepperoni pizza? Actually, make that two,” he says.

I nod absentmindedly.

“Well I’m off!” Susannah places her love handkerchief back in her messenger bag, then picks up the salad and fries

“Lovely chatting with you, but I’m ravished! If there’s any problems with my food, you’ll be sure to hear about it. Or your boss will!”

She throws her head back and laughs while she walks away.

“Who’s that? A lady friend of yours?” Mrs. Chen says, dropping change into a student’s hand. She adjusts her giant eyeglasses up and down in what she probably thinks is suggestive and teasing. It has quite the opposite effect coming from her.  

“I can help you with some tips and tricks to impress her. My mother was a successful matchmaker, you know?”

“No thank you, Mrs. Chen. I know exactly how to deal with her.” 

If this was a horror movie, the director would cue the haunting music, I’d give a villainous cackle and the camera would slowly zoom into my squinty eyes. 

Fade to black.